Instant Messaging etiquette
What is the proper IM etiquette? I only ask because A has IM’d me three times now without me initiating anything first. As I mentioned before, he pinged me out of the blue at the time when my lover and I were considering adding new people to our fantasies. Then the other day while the kids were here so I blew him off and again this weekend. I finally told him my lover and I were not going to add anyone else. He then had the nerve to ask me if he and I could just get together. I again told him that I was in love with my lover and couldn’t be with another man. A tried to joke it off, but he was obviously fishing hoping I’d let my dysfunctional moral code drop enough to hook up with him again.
I’m shocked he would reach out once to me, much less three times. I see friends come online and I don’t ever send them an IM unless I know they approve of this method of conversation. I don’t want to interrupt their day or what they have going on and never assume they have time to chat with me. It’s the same thing with texting. I hardly ever text anyone except the ex because that’s the only form of communication he generally responds to. I’ll send an email any time I want to talk and generally that’s how people respond back to me as well.
This could also be the problem with me continuing long-distant friendships of any kind. I wait for them to approach me to talk almost 90% of the time. We’ll have a good string of conversations going, then they stop and I won’t push them further. I figure if they wanted to continue to talk to me they would reach out. So in general, all of the “friends” (female and male) that I thought I had have faded away because I don’t want to be a nuisance.
Am I old-fashioned? Do I really need to knock before entering someones cyber space or do I just jump in? Maybe I’m upset because I don’t really have any desire to connect back with him. I tried to reach out an olive branch of friendship once I got back with my lover and ended it with him. He didn’t want that. Of course, he had taken out a personal for a fuck buddy not a friend. If he didn’t have any interest in me as a person, why would I continue to talk to him. Oh well…that’s my Monday rant.