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Are you happy?

August 29, 2016

A simple question really. One simply has to take a quick look at themselves and answer – are you happy or unhappy. For me, because I over analyze every aspect of my life, it’s not an easy question to answer.

These last few months at work have been stressful and less than fulfilling for a number of reasons. I joined POF again because I’m either an eternal optimist it a glutton for punishment. After several conversations with the wrong people , I updated my profile to clarify my political and religious leanings and addressed some specific things I was looking for in a mate. I haven’t heard from anyone since. I guess the combination of my personality and my physical appearance has bumped me out of the dating pool. And I had a conversation with my doctor last week that left me angry.

I’m still feeling a bit superficial in my interactions with co-workers and people in general. So many things are demanding my time and attention I don’t feel rejuvenated even after time off work. I’m running on empty.

It hit a breaking pint today where I wanted to run away. I want to get in my car and turn off the phone and be me – whatever that means. Luckily good friends were available to spend time with enjoying company and laughing. No one needed anything  from me. I could breath deeply, smile, listen and disengage in the crazy pieces of my life.

I am successfully adulting. I’m managing a hectic schedule and slowly moving towards more success. My kids seem happy and are figuring out life. My oldest seems calmer than she has in years. I’m a good friend and a good employee. I’ve got hobbies which make me feel rewarded and humor which breaks up monototy.

I guess if I had to take a hardline approach to answering the question, I’d say yes I am happy. I want more out of life and I need to put specific goals in place to achieve them, so maybe Im best described as unsatisfied. I’ll take that. It drives me to more as long as I keep it in perspective. Perhaps it’s best to find a sunny spot on the grass, close my eyes and breath in the fresh air and practice acceptance.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 29, 2016 3:22 am

    Although it seems you are not quite where you want to be, this post seems optimistic! I was gone for quite a while and am back to my writing – I was happy to see this post from you in my subscribed blogs! Keep ’em coming!

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